Protecting your child from the world–a parable

Once upon a time, two new fathers were walking through the park when they saw a burning bush that wasn’t consumed. After they took off their shoes and fell on their faces God said,

“Listen carefully. I’m warning you—if you don’t work really hard to prevent it, your children will drown when they are 19 years old.”

“How should we work hard to prevent this?” they asked.

“I gave you brains—use them! But, hear Me—each WILL drown if you don’t work really hard to prevent it.”

The first man ran to tell his wife.  From that moment on they devoted themselves to convincing their child that getting in the water was bad.  They would bathe him in 3” of water until he was 5 and then make him shower only.  They would never let him go to a pool or go to the lake with his friends.  They’d frequently tell him horror stories of drownings and the horrible dangers of swimming or even wading in water.  When the public school started a swimming team they began to home school.  While they used to vacation at the beach every year before he was born, they’d now only go to the mountains (and of course they destroyed all the old vacation photo albums before he was old enough to look at them).  They wouldn’t even let him watch TV shows if they showed positive images of swimming, boating or even wading.  When their son told them that he wanted to be a marine biologist, they told him that this was a demon-inspired curiosity and they wouldn’t hear of it.  After they sent him away to a college in New Mexico to study accounting, they laid awake every night worrying that he wouldn’t stay away from the water.

The second man also ran to tell his wife, and from that moment on they devoted themselves to knowing how to swim and be comfortable, strong and secure in the water.  Then, at the earliest possible age, they started teaching their child to swim.  As the years went by they taught and modeled water safety, skills and strength.  They were in the water a lot together as a family, and both parents watched closely to discern her strengths and weaknesses.  They worked together to strengthen the weak areas and were careful to warn her of the dangers that corresponded to her strengths.  When she told them that her career dream was to become the captain of a submarine, they embraced it with both hands.  When she left for Annapolis shortly before her 19th birthday, they prayed that God would protect her and strengthen her.  Then they fell asleep without anxiety.

You have a very limited time to train your children.  Never forget that while good judgment, wisdom, prudence and stewardship are virtues, safety  (in and of itself) is not.  What do your kids see as your priority for them?  Neither you nor your children are called to be safe.  You are all called, however, to be strong (like Jesus) in a dangerous world that is trying to conform you to its (fallen) image even as it harbors enemies trying their hardest to kill you.  Are you teaching your children to be prudent, strong, and wise as if their life depended on it?  The (very real!) dangers they face now are like the shallow end of the pool.  Get in there with them and train them to be strong, capable, wise and secure in a hostile environment–don’t drag them out of the pool!  They are going to have to spend a lot of their life in the water.  This is by God’s design.  The water will get deeper.  This is also by God’s design.

Naiveté is not the same as holiness.  Fear is not the same as prudence.  Wisdom teamed with strength is fertile soil for all the virtues.

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